The new Queen of Scotland?

WITH Jack McConnell set to become Emperor of Malawi from 2009 (if Bridget allows it), the SNP decided it had to get with the African groove.
So Linda Fabulous, Minister for Many, Many Things (not as many as John Swinney) went into Africa to bat for the Nats.

It was Linda's first sojourn to Malawi since Ms Fantastic became Minister for Europe, External Affairs and Culture. She met some of Malawi's ministers before leaving today, and assured them the Scottish Government still loves Malawi – possibly more than Jack and Labour ever did. Ms Fandabidozie discussed progress on commitments and future priorities. She said: "This is about people working together, strengthening the bond between our two countries. I have had very fruitful discussions and we have agreed we will continue to work together to ensure Scottish Government funds are targeted towards the priorities identified by the government of Malawi, to develop a distinctive Scottish contribution that adds value and provides long-term outcomes." (A couple of tick-boxes on the jargon bingo game, there, Linda.)

Hon Joyce Banda, minister of foreign affairs in Malawi, said: "All hail to Linda Faberoony, the new Queen of Scotland." Ms Fantabulous also met Callista Chimombo, the tourism, wildlife and culture minister, who should not be confused in any way with Ally McBeal star Callista Flockhart.