He's from where now?

Mike Halford of the Kurtenblog presents countries you weren't familiar with before the Beijing Olympics and won't be afterwards, either.

Malawi: This small African country sent a four-athlete delegation to Beijing. It included swimmer and flagbearer Charlton Nyirenda, who qualified for the games after Malawian officials learned he had a pool in his backyard. Nyirenda is also the king of Malawi. Mostly because he has a pool.

Aruba: Aruba only sent two athletes to Beijing, and for good reason. The yearly temperature there hovers around 28C and the standard of living is highest amongst Caribbean countries. Knowing that, how do you motivate anybody to do anything? I know people in Vancouver who fake sick and go to the beach when the rain subsides to a slight drizzle. Imagine a world where you could sit in the sun every day and drink beer on a white-sand beach. Yeah, I might not make it to epee practice this afternoon, chief.

Tajikistan: Rasul Boqiev won this country's first-ever Olympic medal this past week, capturing bronze in men's judo. At which point, the entire Tajikistani delegation pointed and laughed at Team Canada.

Bhutan: This tiny landlocked nation in South Asia calls itself Druk Yul ("the land of the thunder dragon"), which, by the way, is awesome. However, Bhutan is known as one of the most isolated and least-developed nations in the world, which might explain why its Olympic delegation consists of a male and female archer.

See, in Canada, archery is a game of skill and technique. In Bhutan, archery is dinner prep.

America Samoa: Sent a team of five to Beijing. Notably absent are former WWF tag team champions Afa and Sika and their lovable manager, Captain Lou Albano.

Tuvalu: This Polynesian island nation is making its first appearance in a Summer Olympic Games. Prime Minister Apisai Ielemia said, "We are hopeful the Tuvaluan delegation will do us proud and dispel many of our country's stereotypes." I assume he punctuated this comment by cracking a coconut open with his head.*

* - he did not say this.

The bad boys of blogging, Mike Halford and Jason Brough, can be read 24/7 at kurtenblog.com and in the pages of Province Sports.